MY BIRTHDAY IS SOON!

So, another year, another birthday...

This little comic strip inspires me to work my legs harder at the gym... heh heh. Summer birthdays are the best, because everyone wants to celebrate!

Er... Thanks for the comic strip John, illustrator of four of my books.

Cheers to another birthday to each of you and then another and another and....

Guess correctly where I am in this picture and you will win two of my books, signed personally to you.

Free Rice for words!

www.freerice.com/index.php

Play this word game and feed people who are hungry, EVERYONE wins!

THE WORLD ACCORDING TO GABE! Stories From the Lower Bunk - CURRENT STATUS

I have had a bunch of email over the past month asking when the second book in the Go Ask Mom series is going to be out. I am wondering the same thing. My agent is currently "pitching" the six book series to publishers. We were just turned down by a publisher, which sends you in many ways back to square one. I have attached one of the illustrations from the new book (yes, totally written, totally edited, totally illustrated, just waiting for the right publisher to say YES!). See if you can figure out which character in the picture is a new one. The second book is going to introduce you to two new characters, one you will simply love for her ZANY personality and one you will "love to hate". Oh yes, he is that kid. The one that joins the group and always has a different opinion and wants to take the gang in a different direction, always! I am finished with the third book, THE GABRIEL BOOK OF WORLD RECORDS and have the 4th, 5th and 6th totally outlined and treatments written for them. SO if you know a publisher who is looking for a new series and you like the GO ASK MOM book, twist arms and let them know that my agent and I are waiting to hear from them! Happy reading!

My first listeners

Someone has to be a first listener, so when I read my manuscripts out loud, these two Yahoos generally have to hear them. You can see one of them thinks my latest is a bedtime story!

Sheeesh, no wonder, ahem, someone in this picture is called man's BEST friend!

MY BIRTHDAY IS SOON!

So, another year, another birthday...

This little comic strip inspires me to work my legs harder at the gym... heh heh. Summer birthdays are the best, because everyone wants to celebrate!

Cheers to another and then another and....

ORIGINAL NAME FOR THIS POETRY BOOK - Drain Bamage

I was all set to publish an anthology of poetry to go with my first two books and loved the name DRAIN BAMAGE, then was told by a librarian that it was "less than politically correct". I usually don't fret too much about politically correct stuff, but I also don't want to offend, so Nitwittles was my second choice and has emerged as the likely title. Which do you like better?

DRAIN BAMAGE

I have to read this book for class,
but I don’t think I should.
I walked up to my teacher,
and said,““This book’s no good!””

Because, sometimes when I read a book,
I wonder how the author felt.
To write such weird, weird stuff,
from the things his life had dealt.

The words they enter through my eyes,
then melt across my brain.
And sometimes when I’m reading it,
I can really feel some pain.

It’s causing me brain damage!”
to my teacher I complain.
I know this book is hurting me,
I can feel it in my brain!”

My teacher scowls at me and says,
“That’s nonsense! Yes, and I should Know,
I’ve read that book a thousand times
and it makes my brane grow!”

But somehow I just know it,
It’s really bad for me.
I don’t want to read this book at all!
I wish she’d let me be!

“Oh, stop with all your nonsense!
U haven’t had no damage!
Eye told U once, Eye told U twise
It won’t cause u DRAIN BAMAGE!!”

FROM MY UPCOMING FUN POETRY BOOK - Nitwittles

Hi, I will be posting some of the poems in my upcoming book over the next summer weeks to get your impressions.

If you want to read either of my current poetry books, please see There's A Fly On My Toast! or Chocolate Covered Frog Legs on my website (justinmatott.com) or amazon.com or goodreads.com ENJOY!

BIG, BAD MOTORCYCLE WEEKEND MAN!

Motorcycle man, motorcycle man,
sitting in the coffee shop.
Has leather boots and leather pants,
and a hat just like a cop.

It used to be ‘Born to ride’,
for the leather wearing bunch;
now, it’s businessmen who ride their hogs
to go to Sunday brunch.

So tough they look with one-day beards,
all rebels with a cause.
Then when the weekend’s over,
they shave their corporate jaws.

Dis is my cat! She is SO cute!

My Email is UP again! YEA!

If you were trying to get ahold of me at justin@justinmatott.com and it bounced back, it should be fine to send to me again, test it. If it bounces back, please send your email to me at my other email address at randomwrtr@aol.com. Thanks, JM

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY TO MY ADULT READERS!

To celebrate the Fourth of July, I am offering a special deal on this book for my readers.
If you order one of these books (or any of my titles) on my website, www.justinmatott.com during July, I will send you a free copy of Independence Days to give to a friend.
You can email me at randomwrtr@aol.com to have them personalized or simply note it when you pay at paypal.

IN THESE 24 MOSTLY TRUE DECLARATIONS OF INDEPENDENCE, JUSTIN MATOTT TAKES HIS READERS INTO THE MYSTERIOUS WORLD OF FRIENDSHIP AND DISCOVERY PECULIAR TO ALL OF US. WRY, FUNNY, AND OFTEN SOBERING, HIS STORIES CENTER AROUND THE CATALYST THAT FORGES FRIENDSHIPS, DIFFUSES DIFFERENCES, AND INSPIRES REVELATIONS. MATOTT'S DOWN TO EARTH WRITING IS A WELLSPRING OF ORDINARY, FLEETING MOMENTS THAT RESULT IN NEWFOUND INDEPENDENCE. READERS WILL SMILE AND SHAKE THEIR HEADS IN RECOGNITION.

I have been doing a catch and release this summer and it is giving me a new idea for a book!

Last year the doggone squirrels ate a ton of our peaches (off our trees) and I didn't like it! The cute little furry bunny rabbits mowed down my lettuce, carrots and everything else except for the weeds in the vegetable garden and I didn't like it. The voles chewed the hedges and fitzers to the point that some of them started dying off and I didn't like it. SO... I got a squirrel trap and began to catch them and release them in a field far enough away from my house that they wouldn't make it back. One morning I caught an unusually surly squirrel, you might say it was a surly squirrely, and it was banging around so much in the back of my SUV that I decided to let it go in the parking lot of the gym where I work out each morning. SO... several days later, a few workouts later and I guess some creatine or anabolic steroid use later, he or she shows back up and rings my doorbell. The cage is still in the backyard, but I am afraid to go outside because he or she has challenged me to a cage match.

Listening to Jimmy Buffet and The Beach Boys and looking forward to the Journey concert with Heart and Cheap Trick in about a week. I just hope the buffed out squirrel isn't a Journey fan or he or she might come looking for me there.

Any advice?