chronomentrophobia

chronomentrophobia- The fear of clocks

When I was a senior on high school my literature teacher assigned each of us to come up with a quote that defined us for the yearbook. Being a procrastinator myself at the time... I met the deadline with only minutes to spare by grabbing a reader's Digest on the way to class and finding this gem: "Time is Nature's way of preventing everything from happening at once."

After a search to find the author of this quote it seems it is attributed to UNKNOWN. Time is something only humans contemplate, or so we think. My dog doesn't watch the clock (or does she?) but she always knows when it is walk time, run time, dinner time, Mom's home time, etc..., but I am quite sure she never FEARS time.

Time adds the dimension of a clock ticking down the days and often reminds us of MORTALITY


While searching for TIME images, I found one with Dali's famous melting clock that caused me more fear than any I have seen.

Someone actually walks around with this tattoo of Dali's melted clock ALL THE TIME?????

The times they are a-changing.
Bob Dylan

October is the month of SCARY! I thought I would attempt to post a phobia every day...

31 DAYS of FEARS and PHOBIAS!

http://bbltwt.com/3biz9

First of all, a disclaimer, as we are all want to do these days: I know phobias are real. I am not making fun of people with phobias. Everyone has or has had phobias in his or her life. I myself have and yesterday spoke of my biggest phobia. There is a difference between a fear and a phobia: http://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/guide/fear-factor-phobias

Fear vs. Phobia

"Phobias involve the experience of persistent fear that is excessive and unreasonable," says Wilson, who is author of the book Don't Panic. "Phobias are cued when a person approaches a particular situation or object, or even anticipates the approach of it, and they understand the fear they will experience as a result of that situation will be unreasonable and excessive."

The key to distinguishing a fear from a phobia is that that while most people get the jitters if a spider crawls on their arm, people suffering from arachnophobia -- the fear of spiders -- are physically and/or psychologically impaired by it.

Today's phobia: Ablutophobia

This morning at the gym the guy next to me on the Stair master was a clear candidate for this phobia. He reminded me of PIGPEN from the old Charlie Brown comics (man I miss C. B.). Pigpen always had a cloud of dust surrounding him and like Pigpen this guy had an olfactory cloud that permeated the air five feet in all directions.

olfactory |älˈfakt(ə)rē; ōl-|
adjective
of or relating to the sense of smell : the olfactory organs.


I think many young teenagers (particularly the male species) suffer from Ablutophobia- Fear of washing or bathing. At least that is what it seems like at times when I am doing assemblies for them. It could just be that they have just come in from gym class or recess.

I have one word for them: D E O D O R A N T!

SO, as a result of someone else's phobia: Ablutophobia, I have my own: Autodysomophobia which is the fear of people who smell bad.
http://www.fearofstuff.com/humans/fear-of-people-who-smell-bad/


So, what is YOUR phobia? Do you have a particular story about YOUR phobia that I might include in my blog and or book? I will not attribute it to you unless you want me to. It will remain private, but I would love to hear from you. I am making light of phobias to dispel the power they have over us, but they are real to the puppy and I recognize that. SO SHARE! Privately at justin@justinmatott.com or here as a comment for the world (my 11 followers and drop in watchers to see).

A REPRISE OF AN EARLIER ENTRY - TO HONOR OCTOBER AS NATIONAL DOUGHNUT MONTH!

http://bbltwt.com/73ho5
It is National Doughnut Month!

Now, I think there must be a big doughnut lobby in Washington for them to get their own month (especially considering they have a National Doughnut Day in June too... hmmmm something is fishy here and hopefully it is not your doughnut, because a fish doughnut just does not sound good). But some people will be rolling in the dough by having a month dedicated to the doughnut... heh heh... CORNY, eh?To celebrate I am bringing the REAL DOUGHNUT DEAL to your attention; Arnie The Doughnut! by my friend Laurie Keller. This is quite possibly the funniest picture book out there. Premise peculiar, execution, SPOT ON!!! My favorite picture book!!

Laurie Keller once watched one of those glazed doughnuts going through the process of becoming a doughnut and that is where the idea for Arnie was born. I will tell you my six year old twin nephews LOVE this book.

My wife's middle school students LOVE this book. Teachers, librarians, adult humans LOVE this book as much as any kid and that is the true test of a HIGH QUALITY read. When asked to read the same book for the hundredth time (come on, we all dread it) this is one of those books you will never mind revisiting over and over. There are so many asides that will crack you up! This is my promise to you. RUN don't walk to get this book.
Here, I am making it easy on you, either google Arnie The Doughnut, Laurie Keller or: click---> http://www.amazon.com/Arnie-Doughnut-Laurie-Keller/dp/0805062831/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1244134839&sr=8-1



Laurie has many other picture books and I recommend you look into them. Scrambled States http://www.amazon.com/Scrambled-States-America-Laurie-Keller/dp/0805068317/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1244135736&sr=1-1 is my nephew's second favorite books in the whole wide world. Is the first place book one of their dear Uncle's books, you might ask? NO, FIRST PLACE IS OCCUPIED BY A CERTAIN... AHEM... DOUGHNUT!!!!

Last year, my book When I Was A Girl... I Dreamed http://www.amazon.com/When-I-Was-Girl-Dreamed/dp/0966427637/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1244135805&sr=1-1 was up for the Colorado Children's Book Award http://www.ccira.org/w/w?cmd=goccbapast and was beaten by this particular book and doughnut.

Here is the deal: In every school during my visits while the students of Colorado were voting for the book to win, I literally asked them to vote for Arnie instead of my book. I did this for two reasons:

1. I know boys and they weren't about to vote for a book with GIRL in the title, oh no, not in elementary school and

2. I LOVE THIS BOOK AND WAS PROUD TO BE PUMMELED BY A DOUGHNUT.

Now, if Go Ask Mom http://www.amazon.com/GO-ASK-MOM-Stories-upper/dp/1889191175/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1244135977&sr=1-1 ends up nominated for the chapter book segment, that is a different deal all together, GAME ON DOUGHNUT DUDE!

I will go toe to toe with any doughnut for the prize. Do doughnuts have toes? I know they sometimes have BEARCLAWS!!!!!!!

To learn about this awesome author/illustrator check out http://blaine.org/sevenimpossiblethings/?p=1567

Pooch Progress Please?

In my recent travels to school events, library events and teacher events, I have been asked what the current situation with the mixed-up dog book is.

The Aliens - All Mixed Up book, with it's 1728 different Flipping opportunities http://www.amazon.com/ALIENS-All-Mixed-Justin-Matott/dp/1889191221/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1254409730&sr=8-1 has been a ton of fun for kids of all ages, including the illustrator Laurie McAdam http://www.lauriemcadam.com/ and me.

I am VERY excited to announce officially that the Pooches - All Mixed Up book is making progress, getting us closer to another 1728 combination book and one step closer to the DINOS- ALL MIXED UP book that is in the works as well!

Here is a sample of some of the pooches underway. There is not detailed background yet, but the pooches are turning out quite well me thinks. I would love to hear YOUR opinion either as a comment here or email me at justin@justinmatott.com.

On a related side note, I suffer from something called Coulrophobia, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coulrophobia which is the fear of clowns. Could have been watching Blinky The Clown on television as a child or the Clown Jack In The Box my brother tormented me with as a small kiddo or most likely the time my mom forced me to go the the circus and somehow ended up in the front row, where a clown plucked me from the crowd and before I could even get to the center ring there was a center ring on my trousers from where I, being so scared of the clown, wet my pants in front of a mere two million people crowded into the big top???

Where was the internet and this link when I needed it? http://phobias.about.com/od/introductiontophobias/qt/circusclown.htm What do you think, do I have a right to my phobia?



My office is full of all kinds of weird stuff! Much of it donated and much just accumulated. I have two large shelves stuffed with tchotchkes |ˈ ch ä ch kə| (also tsatske) noun informal - a small object that is decorative rather than strictly functional; a trinket. from my travels and I have a real affection for Santa and all things Christmas. Laurie McAdam, having been to my house and knowing me, and my weird collection, decided to send me a gift.

As you can see, he is a cigar chomping, circus clown dog.

FOR THE RECORD I AM NOT AFRAID OF IT. THE REASON I LOCK IT UP IN MY CIGAR HUMIDOR AT NIGHT? YOU ASK.

SIMPLE, TO KEEP HIS CIGAR FRESH, NOT BECAUSE I HAVE SEEN TOO MANY TWILIGHT ZONES AND OUTER LIMITS WHERE THESE KIND OF tchotchkes COME TO LIFE AT NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO REALLY!


SO, all this to say that I vowed NEVER to have a clown in ANY of my books unless it was something Stephen Kingish like IT (which is the one SK book I haven't/won't/can't read).

If you look closely at the dogs above, I allowed for a funny dog clown, because I love DOGS and perhaps it is my own form of therapy.... (a chill just went up my spine thinking of the mean tchotchkes my brothers might send me upon reading this blog. Oh well, I'll just get a bigger humidor).

Thanks for watching my website and blog... I do it for YOU! (even putting a clown dog in my book)!

Images that inspire a writer...?

When we worry about the fact that our young reader is obsessed with reading silly books and comics and "non literature", some of us must remember what it was like when the reading world was new and there was so much interesting and weird...

I would sit in my back yard or up in my tree house and obsess over comic books for hours and hours when I was a boy. There is a large box of my old comic books and Mad Magazines in my basement that I have been pouring over. When I look at these old ads it brings back memories of the mystery and the fantasy of actually having the exotic animals shown on the pages.

I ordered virtually everything in those magazines, the most disappointing the X-Ray glasses.

As I am molding the characters for the Go Ask Mom series I am able to go back in time and become a boy again for short periods, WHAT FUN!

Gabe is obsessing about some of the items you see in these pictures and I think you will like what comes from it in book 3. The Gabriel Book Of World Records will be out sometime within the next months.... Stay tuned and read whatever grabs YOUR fancy and let your imagination run wild!

A HATE CRIME THAT REQUIRES REVENGE!

A dark cloud hangs over the Matott household tonight.

A dastardly, diabolical and daring crime was committed in broad daylight during a dashing, dazzling Bronco game that Mr. Matott was inside watching with no knowledge that within just yards of his comfortable couch a horrible crime was being committed.

During the Bronco game a hate crime was committed in Mr. Matott's back and side yard.

Over fourteen hundred blades of grass were stabbed to death with simple plastic forks and due to the nature of this crime it is believed that someone is without his toilet paper tonight... adding theft to the potential list of crimes.

Trees were tied up, adding to the list including;
kidnapping,
littering,
trespassing,
illegal use of toilet paper and forks,
1451 counts of murder of Kentucky Bluegrass,
deprivation of toilet paper and a long list of other potential crimes.


The culprit is believed to be an ardent Raider fan who knows of Mr. Matott's love for the Broncos (who were beating the Raiders soundly during the crime to the tune of 23 - 3 IN THE BLACK HOLE IN CALIFORNIA, I MIGHT ADD!).

A young man of approximately ten and a half in a red shirt with strikingly blond hair and apparently quite handsome was seen sneaking around the outskirts of the Matott mansion doing the deed.

CONCEPT DRAWING--->



An eyewitness claimed the boy was humming something from either the Legos or the Bionicals and giggling with delight at his wit, stealth and conniving need to inflict pain on Mr. Matott. This evidence along with the actual owning of said toys will be further evidence when this case goes to trial.

This will not go unpunished. Fingerprints are being lifted from the forks that littered the Matott yard and when the culprit is apprehended it is likely he will receive either a toilet swirly, an atomic wedgie or BOTH, but in the extreme case he could be sentenced to a plastic fork and toilet paper factory and be forced to apologize to every blade of grass in Mr. Matott's yard for taking their dear friends so brutally.

A funeral will be held in Mr. Matott's backyard. Please withhold flowers (seen by Kentucky bluegrass as competition) but by all means do not withhold any dark chocolate, especially from the Mountain Man or from Sees. Sometimes it is these kind of gestures that helps one get through such loss.

Introducing T-Bone, a new character!

In the upcoming third book, The Gabriel Book of World Records, in this six book saga Gabe and his friends are up to their usual antics when a new friend shows up. A friend who brings new talents and humor to their group. Wait until you see how they initiate him in to the Secret Brotherhood of Boys. If you are reading this and have no idea what I am talking about, please catch up. Go Ask Mom and The World According to Gabe are available at my website: www.justinmatott.com or at www.amazon.com

Douglas County Library visits are happening!

I had my first session out in Parker with a great group of kids, librarians, parents and teachers!

Some story telling, some Q & A. Please check out my calendar at my website and stop in to one of these events! www.justinmatott.com

THE NEW STYLE FOR THE GABRIEL PETERS SERIES

Hi, book 3 in the Gabriel Peters series is well on its way. With an illustrator and designer change it is taking a bit longer than was first anticipated. I think it will be worth the wait! The third book is titled The Gabriel World Book Of Records.

The style is intended to look as though Gabriel (at this point a fifth grader) has pulled these drawings and writings directly from his journal. As though YOU are reading his journals and seeing his doodles.

In this book many adventures will occur, not the least of which is Gabriel and his buddies trying very hard to make it into the Guinness World Book of Records. Their main endeavor is to build the World's largest spit pool... ewwww...

I am writing furiously in book 4 and 5 and have 6 total planned and outlined. I would love to hear from you regarding your impressions of these rough sketches for the new book, particularly if you are used to the style in the previous two (which by the way will be completely redone to reflect the entire book series in the same light).

Click on each picture to blow it up and to read the script next to the tree house easier.

How to get a girl, starring my son!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2paLkR6KEZc

My son is a Broadcast Journalism major at CU (GO BUFFS!)
He starred, edited, produced this piece for his church group. He is in the flannel, THE CORE shirt and under his car at the beginning. My favorite scene is when he hands it to the little Basketball player on the court (must have been a CSU alum).

Anyway, it is clever, me thinks....